Of late, I’ve been having these thoughts about people and situations. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be able to get the contacts. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be able to get that project. If it wasn’t for me, this would not have gotten off the ground. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be able to get that job. If it wasn’t for me, if it wasn’t for me, if it wasn’t for me….oh yes, in case you are wondering, that image I am using popped up when I searched for the word “condescending.”

I am currently reading Brene Brown’s book called “Rising Strong” and it talks about being vulnerable to be real. And instead of making “justified” statements, ask yourself (myself!), what I am feeling first. Why am I feeling the need for “oneupmanship.” Yes, I do feel wronged. However, I do want to get to the bottom of my insecurities and fears for feeling this way.

Brene Brown continues to talk about reckoning. First noticing how you react emotionally or physically and then uncovering the story behind the feeling. It does get uncomfortable However if we don’t deal with it, we get stuck in a limbo.

Brown said, “Recognizing emotion leads to feeling it. What if I recognize the emotion and it dislodges something and I can’t maintain control? I don’t want to cry at work or on the battlefield or when I’m with I’m with my parents” and “But denying emotion is not avoiding the high curbs, it’s never taking your car out of the garage. It’s safe in there but you’ll never get anywhere.” It goes on to talk about the rumble so we can get to our story.

We have permission to feel emotion. Brown continued with “If we’re worried that giving permission to experience and engage with emotion will turn you into something you’re not or someone you won’t want to become…it won’t. It will, however, give you the opportunity to be your most authentic self. We are wired to be emotional beings. When that part of us is shut down, we’re not whole.”

Ok, I’m going to get to reading the rest of the book and the Good Book to get to the bottom of this. I’ll end with this saying by Maya Angelou, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not be reduced by them.”

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